noahrs

Ma'am, you're scaring the children.

Hilarious pictures of a rescued Owl, not at all happy about being put in a cardboard box. He looks evil.

Source: Live Journal

I love how this 2005 "jorts" photo of my college buddies and I gets constantly featured around the internet. In this case, on a list of people that the author wants to punch in the face. I feel honored.

So to be clear, this isn't my list, I'm reposting it to show you my glorious photo that was used in the author's list.

FYI: If you do a google search for "jorts" the photo pops up on the first page of results. That's me in the blue slacks and yellow polyester shirt.

Source: The Chive

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This guy paints himself to blend into his environment. No trick photography. No photoshop. He just paints himself. The last one is pretty crazy, took me awhile to spot him.

 

Saw this on Comedy.com and had to repost it. Source: here

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Lots of websites have done lists of ugly baby animals, but they only have pictures of the repulsive little creatures. We’ve gone the extra click, and tracked down actual video of these hideous vermin. Yes, it’s video on the Internet. Welcome to 2002! Put away your Lunchables right now, and enjoy this list of the 10 Ugliest Baby Animals On YouTube.

10. Aardvark

Pretty clever, aardvark. Make it so you end up at the beginning of any alphabetical list of animals. People will love you, because you are first, and Americans like a winner.

There’s just one thing you forgot. We all know about your ugly-ass offspring.

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9. Baby Parrot
Baby parrots look like someone aborted some raw chicken and then dropped it on the floor of the retirement home’s barber shop. It’s a good thing they grow up to talk and sit on pirates. Otherwise, every single baby parrot would have been killed by angry mobs. Why are these guys on deli paper? Someone is going to make a terrible lunch mistake.

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8. Baby Bunnies
“BUNNIES?!” you are typing to yourself after frantically pounding your caps lock key. “BUNNIES R TEH CUTEST! WTHECK!” We understand your anger, but we also dismiss it, because we are the experts here thanks to our doctorate (summa cum laude) in Internet.You think baby bunnies look like this, don’t you?

That’s all Photoshop and hormones. Here’s what the little buggers look like freshly spawned.

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7. Baby Hamsters
They look like squirmy little Vienna sausages.

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6. Possum
How can an alive version of this animal be uglier than the road kill version?

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5. Baby Two Headed Cat
This is the least cute kitten on the Internet.

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4. Baby Naked Mole Rat
Do you ever think of your Grandpa naked? Well, now you did, thanks to the power of WRITING. Picture Gramps naked (again), only shaped like a rodent and sporting a fresh, full-body Brazilian wax. That’s about what a naked mole rat looks like. They are so ugly, the only footage we could find of a baby naked mole rat is this video, where an older mole rat EATS a baby mole rat. So the babies may be hideous, but at least they are tasty. This probably isn’t safe for children… or my mom.

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3. Baby Kangaroo
THIS is a gross. Don’t watch this video unless you want to see a horrible little creature clawing his way out of a kangaroo’s seeping vagoo. In hell, these deformed little veiny gummy bears are what shows up on the Triscuits.

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2. Baby Aye-Aye
Maybe it’s the beady yellow eyes, but this baby aye-aye looks like he wants to travel to Georgia and challenge people to fiddle contests.

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1. Baby Bot Fly
These maggots are especially ugly, because they like to live inside your skin. That’s a level of repulsiveness not even your aye-aye’s or two-headed-cats can compete with. Congrats, bot fly. You are both physically and emotionally very ugly, just like a racist hunchback of Notre Dame.

Wow, babies are ugly, except for this Lucky Charms loving kid. Wonder where babies come from?  Just ask Yahoo! Answers.

Meet Cindy, the ridiculously groomed poodle. Her owner apparently thinks its normal to shave and freakishly dye poodles. I hope to God this woman doesn't have any children.

What. The. Hell.

 

Camel Poodle. It's bad enough the owner allowed her poodle to be shaved into a camel, but she really went overboard with that Arabian night belly dancer outfit. Probably stole that from my mom's closet.

 

Chicken Poodle. The only thing more terrible than this groom job is the Photoshop FAIL - where'd the owners chair go?

 

More Chicken Poodle. Poor Cindy, she's actually a vegetarian so this groom job really pisses her off.

 

Chicken Poodle x 3. Poodle in a bird nest? Really? Chickens don't even has nests like that. Idiot.

 

Dragon Poodle. "Rawr, I'm a dragon poodle. I breathe fire and self-loating."

 

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Poodle. Surprised the owner wasn't dressed up like Shredder in this one.

 

Peacock Poodle. Someone needs to put this dog out of her misery.

 

Peacock Poodle part deux. Michael Vick's dogs had it better than this.

 

 

Behold. Ten amazing animals giving their best OMG face. Maybe they won the lottery? OMG ...

 

 

 

 

Enter the Bring Yourself contest - Create your own!

Enter the Bring Yourself contest - Create your own!

Beach + Bikini + Bottoms = My Song of Summer

In case you haven't already done so, be sure to "Fan" the Buzznet Page on Facebook. It's a great way to get important updates, behind-the-scene office happenings and other fun stuff. It's also a quick and easy way to leave us feedback.

What are you waiting for? Do it, to it.

>> Buzznet on Facebook

 

The following is the actual transcript from a call I received on my office phone line at 2:15pm on Thursday, December 18th, 2008.

The Caller ID read: "Pay Phone" and flashed a Los Angeles number: 323-231-9719

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The Buzznet editorial department is twisting my arm to give them a Top 10 list for 2008. Why? I think they’re just lazy. But they claim it’s because I’m 50% awesome, 50% amazing, and 50% hilarious. In case you weren’t counting, that’s 150% bad-ass.
 
So here you go. Enjoy. —Noah R-S, Buzznet Senior Director of Product Marketing, noahrs

10. Megan Fox: "I’m shallow and superficial. Accordingly, Megan Fox’s pictorial in the October's GQ earned her a spot on my list."



9. Jamie Lynn Spears: "Nothing says, 'I’m trying hard to be a celebrity' like white-trash, backwoods teenage pregnancy. Wait, what?"



8. Joe Francis: "The Girls Gone Wild creator spent some time in jail this year for tax evasion but he’s supposedly changed for the better. Upon leaving jail, he immediately demanded 'Three lines of awesome, 1 shot of bad-ass, and five bumps of underage misconduct.”



7. AnnaLynne McCord "My dear AnnaLynne, you perked my interest with your role on Nip/Tuck, but you earned my love on the remake of 90210. Shh, don’t speak… Just be gentle with my heart."



6. Tracy Morgan: "One of the funniest guys on television and quite possibly the most unpredictable interviewee in the history of all-things-funny."



5. Bristol Palin: "Why, yes, thank you, I would like seconds on the teenage pregnancy."



4. Bobb'e J. Thompson: "The little guy with the foul mouth from the movie Role Models makes me laugh uncontrollably. Check out his earlier work on MTV’s Human Giant"



3. Lindsay Lohan: "I’m a sucker for puppies, unicorns and anorexic lesbians with drug problems."



2.  Spencer Pratt: "Say what you will about the man, he’s an evil genius."



1. Miley Cyrus: "Aside from getting her cell phone getting hacked weekly, resulting in her smutty self-shots appearing on the web and in my inbox, Miley’s dad is Billy Ray Cyrus… the greatest musician of our generation. We have a winner."